There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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