Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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