ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
