i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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