no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
