The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
