i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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