I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize