Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
