Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
