And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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