I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
