he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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