it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
