Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
