I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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