these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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