Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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