everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
