1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
