The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
