The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
