eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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