pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
