I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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