Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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