Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
