the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize