nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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