The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
