I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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