I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize