She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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