woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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