Well apparently he's into motor boating.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
