none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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