FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
