Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
