I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
