You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
