i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
