grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize