my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
