Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
