And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
