I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you traded sex for a burrito?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
