i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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