I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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