He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
