I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
