You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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