she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
