his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
