Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The uberlube is also flammable
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
