She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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