So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
