we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
