At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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