My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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