Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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