Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
