I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize