i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
