I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize