Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
