Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
