Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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