If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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