Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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