In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i've created a new STD.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
