At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
