just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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